breast augmentation before and after photos e cup

hello little buns, it is stef, welcome back to my home if you are a new viewer, my name is stefani, or stef sanjati online, and i am a transgender woman. and it is my one year on estrogen as of like, two days ago i am taking estrogen as part of my hormone replacement therapy which is something many, many transgender people undergo in order to feminize their appearance or if they're a transgender man, opposite to me, they use it to masculinize their appearance. what it does is...

uh..... a lot there are many, many emotional changes and mental health changes that were so huge and positive a lot of people tend to overlook those and just go right to the physical changes which are more obvious to people and unfortunately more important to a lot of people but both aspects have definitely happened oh they happened! so i am gonna, kind of, go over everything that i've experienced in a year, and i'm gonna show you some pictures of my transformation as well in this video hope you enjoy!

let's go way back to the start, when i was a wee babe a little ang-- nah, i wasn't an angel ever i was always a pain in the ass, but like let's go back to when i was a kid i always, always constantly felt uncomfortable from pretty much the age of 8, until i started transitioning at 19, always. i didn't really understand that what i was feeling was not normal. the first memory that i have

that should have told me, had i been more aware of lgbt people existing would have been the memory of... you know in elementary school sometimes the teacher will be like, "split into boys and girls." boys versus girls or whatever for like a game or for gym class or something. i never, ever, ever, ever felt right going to the boys' side. i always knew i was supposed to be on the girls' side. but i just wasn't allowed and i didn't understand. and as i got older, i was, you know, understanding

that i was being told that, "you are boy. you have to do this. you know, this is who you are," and i never felt like that was true. but i just accepted it, because, you know, my worldview at the time was genitals equals gender which was totally incorrect. but we can talk about that another time. as i got older, i tried to fill the role, but in high school i just kind of was like,

fuck that, everybody! and i started wearing really odd makeup. i started growing my hair out, dying it all kinds of colors and, in my head, this was kind of an artistic or creative rebellion. it was me finding my creativity. it was me expressing myself. what i didn't understand, and again, what should have told me had i been more aware of trans people existing, was every day i put effort into feminizing myself, into making myself look feminine. i wore exclusively women's clothes

from like 9th grade until 10th or 11th grade and i tried my best to become comfortable and every day becoming comfortable meant feminizing my appearance. so, you know, that should have told me something maybe just to inquire, but i didn't understand at the time. so that happened. and then at the end of high school, going into college, i decided i better get serious you know, i better just grow up and start being a man!

at the time i thought i was gay, so i wasn't like super, super toxic with my masculinity but i figured i should just oppress myself so i grew out a beard a little bit sometimes and i didn't wear as much crazy makeup and i pretty much just put on powder and did my thing. i worked as a makeup artist, so i did, you know, indulge in feminine things but i was like, "no, this is the role i gotta fill. i have to be

that boy makeup artist that's really cute and stuff!" whatever. like, i basically fucked up. that's what i did. and i tried my best to fill that role for many years... ...as in like 2 or 3 years. that's not that many. but it's a long time. and then i met a transgender person, another trans woman, when i was working at a makeup counter, and she opened my eyes

to how real it was. and, you know, up until that point, caitlyn jenner hadn't even come out yet so pretty much my exposure to trans people was sex workers and crime shows and that was about it. that's all i knew. getting to know these people before i understood i was trans was great.

and it's not like... meeting them didn't make me question it, not even for a second, but the more and more that i met, the more i just i don't know. i kind of figured myself out through them, but it wasn't a result of anything they did or said to me. you know what i mean? i just started to understand that the discomfort that i'd always felt was the same

thing that they had explained to me and it just clicked. so i was 19 years old and thankfully because of this close friend of mine i was able to get a doctor that was specialized in trans healthcare and get on hormones in a very short amount of time, in a couple of months three or four months it took me which was very little time compared to most people and i'm very, very happy that it was so quick.

when i started testosterone blockers, i pretty much immediately was like, ooh, there's changes coming like i didn't really understand that what i was experiencing was placebo and it was all mental health improvements but i want to get into that in a second. my first day wearing women's clothing was actually my first pride parade and i went out with my coworkers

and i was wearing a skirt and a little shirt and i did not know what i was doing, but i did my best and i was happy. i was so happy. i felt so comfortable. and i'll show you little pictures like i've been showing you the whole time. there's images on the screen. and i've come a long way -- physically, mentally and also in my expression of my femininity and like how i dress has come a long way.

what's up with you, choker? it's not even a choker. it's a belt but i've just tied it around my neck. smart, girl, smart. there we go. alright. every day i woke up since getting those t-blockers i've felt happier every, every, every single day. every single day it has felt a little bit better and of course there were days in there where i was

treated badly and i felt like shit and i felt like i couldn't do it and i felt like i would never be beautiful in my own eyes and i feel like i've gotten to a place where i'm pretty good with that, where i feel pretty good when i wake up in the morning and i feel very good when i get ready and i feel... like right now. i feel great about myself. i feel so good

when i look in the mirror like this and every day gets a bit easier to get to this point. i don't think anybody understands until they're on hrt how huge how huge the emotional effects are, how much it benefits us. a lot of people like to sling around that trans people have a high suicide rate after they transition. that's not because

they transitioned. that's because when they transitioned, people decided to treat them like shit. okay? hormone replacement therapy and transitioning has saved my life. i don't talk about it very much but i was in a very, very dark place and i never attempted suicide thankfully. 41% of us do attempt suicide. i did not. but i... i felt myself getting sucked into

this dark hole and i thankfully was pulled out by the support of my friends and my mentors and my family before i got too far into the hole. and i can understand sometimes how people get to the point of suicide. being a public -- i don't want to say public figure -- transitioning in public on youtube, being open to everybody's opinion about myself,

gets very exhausting and i don't let negative comments get to me. sometimes it just builds up and i get overwhelmed and i crack and i need to heal and, again, i have a wonderful support network. i have great friends. i have great family and i make it through every time. but i can understand if somebody's isolated how damening it is...

damening? damaging it can be and it just makes me very sad. i don't know how else to talk about it. but let's scoot right along now to estrogen! m'kay! within two months i started experiencing breast growth. my chest was very sensitive. touching it in any way, shape, or form was like a rock being thrown at my chest.

it was incredibly painful. i think anybody that experiences breast growth knows this feeling. it feels really painful but i loved it. i loved it 'cause i was like, "yes! progress!" and i would constantly just touch my titties and make me, like, the pain and whatevah. whatevah at this point, at about a year i can fill an a cup. my

breast growth pretty much plateaued at about the 8-month mark. i haven't felt any kind of pain or growth since then, so i'm thinking that i'll look into breast augmentation in the new year, but that's a ways away. i have not made any solid plans. moving on to skin, my skin pretty much got softer every day from starting estrogen onward and at this point i can't explain the difference. it feels incredible.

i do like to moisturize intensely. but even if i forget one day my skin's still good, whereas before it was like i would get, like, dry elbows to the point where they were gray like every day and, like, all kinds of stuff like that. it was very i was a cracky rock! i was a mess. i was a really dry, flaky mess and now i'm not. i find specifically

like, it's most easy to tell with my makeup because my makeup sits and feels nicer than it ever did before. i don't even get oily. like, i used to get oily in the face and dry on my body and now it's just like consistent, good skin. and that's huge. it makes me feel much better. it makes my life easier, okay, to have good skin. it makes my life easier. i do

still have a lot of acne scarring that i'm working on, but no new acne scars, just old acne scars and that's nice. in terms of facial hair, estrogen will thin -- not thin out your facial hair, but it will soften it. it softens your hair and it makes it easier to shave. it makes it less irritating to shave, but it does not get rid of facial hair. it slows down the growth. so, in combination with

laser hair removal, which i've had about six or seven times and i need about twelve times as you can see by these images over here, i had a lot of facial hair. very dark, very thick, very coarse facial hair, so i need a lot of laser hair removal to get rid of it and i am about half or two thirds of the way there, i feel. it's come a long way. so i'm thinking maybe four

to five more laser treatments and then i can probably get electrolysis and i will be hair-free on my face, which will be a blessing! huge blessing 'cause that's pretty much, that's almost... that's like the number two thing that i don't like, so... goodbye hair, you know, eventually. i'm getting there. if you want to undergo laser hair removal i recommend that you get a groupon

because in toronto, toronto's an expensive city to live in and an expensive city for anything, but one session for my face normally would cost me about $300 at this place. very good place, too. it's in the west end, it's called 'skin and body fresh'. it's where i go for my laser. really cute, really nice. the lady that does it is so nice and so kind and so sweet so if you're trans and in

toronto, i'd recommend going there and hopefully they have a groupon deal. look for that because what i ended up getting... maybe i shouldn't say the groupon deal, but i mean it was public, whatever. it was on the internet. the point is, the groupon deal i got was six sessions for $300 and it was more complicated the way it broke down, but that's kind of what it came out to be, which was huge in savings.

so, hell yeah. fuckin' right. hell right. fuckin' right. yes. and it absolutely 100% has had an effect. if anybody tells you it doesn't, they're either blonde or they're lying. laser hair removal only really works on dark hair and it works best if you have very, very fair

skin and very, very dark hair, which is kind of my situation, especially when i don't have makeup on, so i'm an ideal candidate for it, but also it's better to not be an ideal candidate 'cause then you can just wax your face and you won't have any hair on it... that's a point. anyway, that's a work in progress, but it's come a long way in a year and the hormones have helped, but it's mostly been laser hair

removal. when it comes to fat redistribution, my body has changed so much. so, so much. i'll put some video footage in here of how my body looks now and i'll put in some pictures of how it used to to look and the fat redistribution is only very recently kicked into high gear. i'm noticing that when i have no clothes on, i definitely have a place where my hips start and

that never used to be. i never used to know where my hips started. but now it's very clear, and that's pretty cool. that's pretty cool, guys. that's pretty nice. i like it. i like it, guys! with my face and fat redistribution, things have come a long way and i think if you looked at any of the

footage of my old videos, you would probably agree that my face has changed quite a bit. part of it is due to getting better at makeup. part of it is due to lighting, but it absolutely has given me cheeks. i have actual cheeks now. before hormones, i was kind of concave in my face and that might be due to the twenty pounds that i've gained since starting this and here's what's interesting: i've gained twenty pounds,

but my measurements are almost identical and it's, like, okay, my waistline is the same size it used to be. my chest is one inch bigger, but my hips are two inches bigger, so i don't know where the weight is going, but it's not... i don't feel like i've "gotten fat" which i would be totally okay with, by the way. nothing wrong with that, but just to prepare you, you will gain weight,

but i don't want you to think it's gonna go everywhere or to where normally goes because, for me, i don't even understand where it is. it's just there. so that's cool. my butt has definitely gotten very shapely. very nice. very cute. yeah, i like it. my butt's always been kind of big, not like nikita dragun big, like, i envy her butt. her butt is beautiful. okay? i don't

have a nikita dragun ass. okay? but i have an alright ass. my ass... it's good! no complaints from anybody. what i would like, however, is okay. there's this thing that a lot of trans people have and usually cis men and sometimes cis women, but again, very rarely. i call it... people that do injectibles usually call them 'boy holes' which makes me very uncomfortable. but it's kind of

like these little dips, these kind of dimples in the sides of your body, not really on your butt, but right before it on your hip -- in your hip area -- and it kind of just doesn't make it look like you have any hips. from the back, or at an angle, my butt looks great, but then from a certain angle it just looks like square and i don't like that. i'm very honestly looking into getting

injections. i don't want a brazilian butt lift 'cause i don't want one. okay, but i'm looking into reputable, like, good doctors in toronto that do this and it would be very expensive to get it done in a good place, but i don't want to risk... ...my fucking legs rotting off. i'm thinking about it. i'm thinking about it. i'm

also thinking maybe like time will get better but please, oh my god, don't tell me squats will get rid of the boy holes 'cause they won't. okay? they won't. i'll get a bigger butt. it'll be firmer, but i don't really want a firm ass. i like it to be, like, jiggly. okay? i like my jiggly butt. squats will not get rid of the boy holes. okay? it'll just make my butt firmer and tighter and i don't really want that anyway, so...

thank you. but i feel that this is a good way to segway into emotional changes because let's talk about the effort that i put into my life. sort of. when i first started transitioning, especially like two months on estrogen, and i'll show you a clip, i tried really, really hard to feminize myself in any way that i could. i wore extensions

in a lot of videos. i did a lot. i tried really hard. i got a waist trainer, like a corset, i did acrylic nails constantly, and i'm at a point now where i don't feel the need to do all those things to be comfortable. i'm at a point now where i can go outside before, like, noon, you know, if i'm too lazy to put makeup on in the morning. i can go outside. i just do things, like go to the post

office or like, you know, go grocery shopping and i don't feel like i'm going to die but for a long time from probably the point when i was 15 to to when i was 19 years old, like even a couple months ago, i could not leave the house without foundation and contour. at least. but now i can just be like, "fuck everything, guys! i'm gonna go outside!" and, like, that's a new thingformeidunno...

it's a new experience. it's a new feeling, and it's nice to be able to just be lowkey and be low-maintenance in the morning. it feels really good but i think it's deeper than that. i think being on hormones has made me feel so much more comfortable and i don't feel like i'm putting on femininity anymore. i feel like i am just a woman. just, it feels normal. i feel normal. i

don't feel like i need to prove anything to anybody in public. i don't feel like i need to prove myself to strangers and i think maybe that's due to, like... oh my god, where's my bra strap, y'all. okay. i have a fair degree of passing privilege as much as i hate that word, it is a real thing, unfortunately. i'm not going to deny it

existing. i hate that it has to exist. i think we should not care about anybody's gender other than our own, but such is life! and i think that being on hormones and having my body and my face change has definitely contributed to me being comfortable. 100%. the physical changes that made me comfortable but my mental health has improved as a result.

does that make sense? i feel like myself when i wake up in the morning. i never actually knew how to word it, but that makes perfect sense. i feel like myself when i wake up in the morning. i don't feel like dreading looking in the mirror. i don't feel like i have to put something on. i feel like i wake up... cool! it's me, guys!

that's a new feeling and i really hope you all get to experience that at some point in your life. it's a nice feeling. it's a nice feeling. and it's only gonna get better. i think i've said this a thousand times. every day got better since i started hormone replacement therapy and every day still it's getting better. and here's the kicker, the better kicker, the kicker that's gonna make me feel so good: i am getting facial feminization surgery in seventeen

days. holy shit, guys. if you're a new viewer, what facial feminization surgery does -- or if you are a viewer and you just don't know what it is -- it basically reverses the effects of testosterone-based puberty on your face, so it deconstructs, almost, your bone structure of your face. everybody gets a different kind of cocktail of things. i'm going to dr. jeffrey spiegel

in boston, massachusetts in the united states of america. i'm very excited. i'm getting a mandible contour, brow bone reduction, trachea shave, and a lip lift. a lot of the things you might think are not necessary, but i do have a lot of makeup and a big light on me, so can't really tell. but i will do a very detailed video with no makeup on explaining what i'm getting done and

how it's getting done and everything and i'm going to be documenting my recovery of this surgery on my youtube channel so if you do not want to miss those, i would recommend you hit the subscribe button and you hit the little bell if you're on the computer or the notifications button so that you can see when i upload these videos immediately because it's so soon oh my god, i can't believe it, and i

am going to completely document the real, gritty, bad-looking healing process. if i'm a bitch on camera, i'm gonna be a bitch on youtube. okay? it's what's gonna happen. if i have a beard in recovery, i'm gonna have a beard on youtube. such is life. okay, so it's something i've been working towards

for like a year and a lot of people have to wait a lot longer for gender-confirming surgeries. other gender-confirming surgeries for trans women might be srs, sexual reassignment surgery, or breast augmentation. i want both of those, but my face was the most important for me because in my line of work, which is youtube and live-streaming, my face is always

there. it's like everywhere in my work so it's going to have the biggest impact on my life. i don't want to experience debilitating dysphoria with my genitals or with my chest so i don't know what i'm gonna get next, but first as always, i've always, always, always known that i want my face done first so i'm getting it done and i'm very happy with that. there's no way in hell i could have had it

this soon without the help, the love, and the support of all of you guys. i don't know if all of you are aware of this, but we raised over $32,000 in crowdfunding to put me through this surgery and i'm so, like, honored. i don't want to put on like a fake speech, but, like, i love you guys so much and i don't think there's

a way that i can ever repay the kindness and the support that you've shown me and i just need you to know that you have absolutely 100% impacted my life in a very physical, very tangible way that i will never forget. i don't know how to explain it beyond that. i don't know -- i'm very bad at expressing, like, that.

just know that i am so thankful. beyond thankful. i'm just really bad at explaining it. i don't know what to say. i love you. thank you. with that being said, and i've heard this from a lot of trans people, when they finally get the surgeries that they've wanted, some of us feel like we don't know what to do with ourselves after, and there are still

some procedures that i want, but what i'm thinking of what i want to do after i get all these procedures after i feel like i'm finally finished is i think i want to help other people. i want to sponsor other transitions, and here's what i wanna do: now, this is a very rough idea. i don't know how this would work, so please don't volunteer for tribute yet, okay? please. just wait. i think what i want to do is i want to

kind of sponsor somebody else's surgery. i want to bring somebody on once a month, be like, how's your transition going? how are you feeling? what's new? you know? i want to have, like, somebody, a guest that we can bring on once a month and i want us to work towards getting a surgery for them, what they want, and i know that's really kind of like complicated idea and i don't know who i would, how i would choose the person.

it's just up in the air, but i'm kind of curious what you guys think about that. you know, 'cause i don't want to just drop trans subjects once i'm done transitioning. i want to continue to do good and i want to give back to you guys, so let me know what you think about that idea. i don't know. i just, i don't want to become a beauty guru. like, that's not i don't feel like that's who i am. with

all that said, i feel like we've come to the end of this one year on estrogen video. i feel like i've covered as much ground as possible. if you have any questions about anything that i might have missed, please let me know in the comments. oh, i should tell you my dosage. oh my gosh. so, in canada, or at least in ontario, there's actually a guideline, so if you're in ontario and you're trans, listen,

okay, this is important. your doctor can access hormone replacement therapy guidelines for transgender people. it's outlined by rainbow health ontario i think is the word. i might be incorrect. i might be incorrect on the wording, but they can find it. okay, they just have to put some effort in. no matter where you are in ontario, tell your doctor, if they don't know how to help you, tell your doctor about rainbow health and their

transition guidelines for hrt. they should be able to find that and you should be able to get your hormones just fine. so how it worked for me was i was put on 1mg of estrogen and i was put on 50mg of spirinolactone for the first six months or so. i went up to 100mg spirinolactone and 2mg estrogen at the six-month mark

and then just now at the one-year mark i went up to 3mg. they don't come in a 3mg pill, so i've been splitting my pill, which is, like, can you just put me at 4? but the reason he's going slow is so that i don't experience crazy mood swings, which would be okay, like, i'd be okay with that, but like, he's trying to help me out here, and to also reduce the risk of developing any kind of side effects.

i've had zero side effects. literally none, and that's because we've been taking our time. sometimes people start out on the maximum dosages of hormones and you do you. you're gonna get effects really quickly and really well, but you might suffer some side effects. i just, i haven't experienced anything, so i feel like that's a really safe way to go about it. anyway, oh my god. any questions about anything that i might have missed?

please let me know in the comments; i'd be happy to help you and i would love it, i would love it if you would stick around by subscribing and turning on notifications so that when i start documenting this surgery, you guys can be the first to see the videos and it's something that i really wanna share with the world because i want people to understand how much impact hormone replacement therapy first of all in this video is --

-- has on us. and i want to show people how much impact ffs has on us because ffs is not considered a necessity and it should be because it's absolutely the most important surgery in my gender confirmation surgeries and, like, it's not covered anywhere in the world, so... because i want everybody to be able to access the surgeries that they need to feel

comfortable and right now it's not super easy. i've had it really easy. i've had it very, very easy and i acknowledge that and i wish that on everybody and that's what i want to help somebody else after i've done everything, so we'll see what happens ohmygawd! until next time, just remember, you are super cool. you are the reason i wake up every day and that is not an exaggeration. i promise you.

i love you so much. until next time, bye! oh my gosh! [kissy kissy smooch smooch]